In 2006 I was planning my wedding. I can not even begin to tell you what hell I went through trying to find undergarments for my wedding dress. I bought this strapless bra thinking it would be great, well it curled up at the back (and I know you girls out there can relate) and was impossible for me to wear. The other thing is that I needed to find a girdle much like a bike pant; this is because my legs rub together and I didn’t want to have this horrible rash on the sides of my thighs – especially on my wedding night. I mean come on, was this nightmare ever going to end?
Then one day I found this great lingerie store and it wasn’t far from my sister’s place. So I rang her to tell her that she should come with me. I met her at her place and we had the usual coffee and a chat before we left. We finally got there and I was practically in tears thinking I am not going to find anything in this store. The sales lady was terrific and she really listened to what I was saying about the bike pant girdle. She brought out a couple and told me to go and try them on.
I went thinking this is going to be fun. You wouldn’t believe this material, double elastic and I can tell you that this was going to suck every bit of fat inside them and then hold on to that fat for dear life. So anyway I started to take off my pants and tried to get into this thing. My God I was sweating as I tried to pull them over my thighs and trying very hard to get them over my hips. I called out to my sister to come and help me, she came, but my sister is a little frail so she couldn’t pull these things up.
My sister in frustration called the sales assistant and she came over to see if I needed help. WELL YAHA, hello I did need help. I told her that I can’t get the girdle over my hips and so she came in the dressing room and told me to pull from my front and she would pull from the back. It was the funniest sight you would have ever seen, but here we were struggling like two maniacs pulling with all our might. Finally we got the damn things on and I thought to myself thank God. Hmmm look how this sucked all the fat in like a vacuum, I was pretty pleased with myself — until about five minutes later I started to feel a little light headed and thought I was going to faint.
I called for my sister and told her that I couldn’t breath, you guessed it, it was because of the tight girdle I was wearing. It was so tight that I just couldn’t breath. I started to weaken and my sister said “Get those damn things off will ya?” I did it with great difficulty too. It was hilarious the way my fat just jumped out like icing on a cake as it spills over the sides. That was me all right spilling over the sides of my girdle.
The sales lady was giggling and we were all giggling until I realised that I couldn’t wear these things. I would faint in the middle of the ceremony and that would be a disaster. So the sales lady told me that they have a lady that makes these to measure and that all that was really wrong with them is that they had the reinforcing with double material. She would simply have these made with only one layer of elastic.
And boy was I relieved because I could actually breath in my dress now.